It's that time again. Time to pack up and head up North to complete the rest of Cam's finger seperation. I am so NOT ready. But honestly, when it comes to surgery, I am never going to be ready. After Cam's last finger seperation, and having so much trouble after anesthesia, and having to spend an extra two days in the hospital when we should have only spent one, really has me anxious. I know he has to have it, but sometimes in my head I contemplate if he really needs ten fingers....I mean he has three functioning ones, and as long as I don't have to send him to surgery I'm ok with that. But realistically I know this isn't even an option. He needs ten fingers, and unfortunatley they haven't come up with any other way to achieve that except with surgery. So in four short days I will send my sweet boy into the OR yet again to have yet another operation.
Sometimes I wonder about God's decision. I wonder how a precense so loving and pure could cause so much pain for such a wonderful child. But then I remember that Cameron wouldn't be Cameron without his journey. He wouldn't have 12 beautiful scars that I have memorized on his precious little body. He wouldn't be the amazing warrior that I am so in love with. Cameron was made for surgery. It's the hardest thing for me to come to terms with, but it is what it is. God made Cameron the exact way he wanted him to be. He put together his body to withstand all of his multiple journeys to the operating room. He gave him a head that wasn't perfectly put together, fingers and toes that need seperation, a stomach that didn't work quite right, ears too small, a nose too small, and a heart that needed a little tweaking. But he made Cameron in his perfect image. Even though I shudder when it's time for him to go to surgery, I know that God chose us to be a part of Camerons walk for a reason. Sometimes I'm not so sure what that reason is, but I know one day, I will know, and most of the time that comforts me. I would be lying if I said that I don't get on a pitty party tangent every now and again, because I DO! I feel sorry for myself, for Cameron, for Paul, and for Max. I feel sorry that I don't have a child that is the picture of health. I feel sorry that instead of going on fun family vacations I get to plan trips for surgeries. I sometimes cry because I'm jelous of the fact that others have multiple healthy children, and complain about silly things, when they have never experianced anything close to what our family goes through almost constantly. I still get angry occasionally that surgery is a continual part of my life. I go through those stages sometimes, but I will say that at the end of the day I couldn't be more grateful and blessed to be the mother of the bravest child I know. He is so amazing and wonderful and I truly have the most to be thankful for!
So onto Boston. We leave Sunday and our intended flight back is Thursday. Please pray for safe travels, especially with this tropical storm brewing. Also please pray that we manage with two kiddos this time! And please pray especially for Cameron. For his continued strength, and for this surgery to go smoothly and for the Dr's and nurses and all of the staff to be able to complete this finger seperation with no problems. I am excited for this part of the journey to almost be over. Excited that my sweet little boy is about to have ten fingers....FINALLY!!!! Thanks for loving us and praying for us. I will update once everything is all said and done!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Time for an UPDATE!
Wow, whoever the "they" are that claims time flies, wasn't joking. I feel like there is no possible way that so much time has gone by since the last time I updated. The last post was how we managed to get Cam his three fingers, it took us awhile, and several cancelled surgeries, but he finally had his first finger separation surgery back in May, and in June we saw the end result of this journey with getting him some fingers...well separated fingers! Since then his hands have been serving him well. He was cautious at first, he didn't want to use his fingers separately and had no intentions on acting as if they were separated. The only big thing at first was that he didn't want to walk for fear of falling, and he was very careful not to hit his hands on anything. I will say that I am so impressed with his surgeon and the team in Boston. Cam's fingers look amazing, and the best part was that after the casts came off, besides having to put splints on his hands at night, there were no dressing changes, which I hear is very common with alot of other kiddos when they have their surgery. Not that it's a bad thing to have to have dressing changes, I'm just grateful that I didn't have to do that with Cam, because it looks painful and with a toddler I'm not sure that it's the most feasible. The splints lasted about 6 weeks, and then we were done. Now Cameron will use his fingers or at least his pointer with some activities, and is doing very well with his OT on the skills she works with him on. I'm always so humbled by his strength and courage. He doesn't know how amazing he is. None of the kiddos that face things like this realize the impact they make on others. Their ability to handle such hard circumstances is awe inspiring. Cameron is awe inspiring. He is so wonderful and brave. And now he is a crazy, funny, independent two year old!!!
Cameron turned two on August 15th. He celebrated with his friends and family at his very cool Elmo party. He even dressed up as Elmo. He was showered with lots of gifts and toys to last him until his next birthday. One of his very best friends, Stella, gave him an Elmo drum set, and because her mom is so creative they gave Cameron a fish. Dorthy in a tank to be exact, since Elmo has a fish, Cameron needed one too.....I couldn't have thanked Stella's mommy enough...(Ashley if you read this, that is sarcasm :) ). We still have Dorthy...somehow she is still alive and kicking...or swimming. Paul's parents even came in from Florida to be here to celebrate Cam's big day. It was alot of fun, and we felt very blessed to have so many people that love Cam come together to celebrate our sweet boy's big day.
Also in big news, we added the newest member of our family on August 23rd. That's right, Max Mclaurin Elliott came into the world weighing a whopping 7 lbs 12 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. He was a big boy for being 3 weeks early. I had a scheduled c-section because of me being diagnosed with pre-eclampisa around 32 weeks. I was able to manage it fairly well, but around 37 weeks it can start getting worse more quickly so they decided it would be safest to do the c-section at 37 weeks. So that morning as I prayed for God to protect us, I was wheeled into the operating room and about 20 minutes later Max was here. He was doing great at first. He was given agar's of 9 and 10, but when they took him to the nursery to weigh him and clean him up he started having some trouble breathing. They put him under an oxygen hood, but later realized that he had something called RDS. It stands for respiratory distress syndrome. Something not too uncommon for c-section babies and babies born a little early. So Max had to be transferred to a hospital we were all to familiar with in Winston Salem called Brenners. This is the place that Cam was born and where we spent most of his first year. Not a place we were to excited about returning too. But Max needed something more than what our small town hospital could provide, so off we went. Max did very well there and after 6 days he was ready to come home. We left the hospital on August 31st. Paul's birthday and the day after Max had turned 1 week. It was a very good day all around. I was so excited to get home to see Cam who had been with my in-laws for the past four days, the longest I had ever been without him, and It was a happy reunion...for me at least. He seemed happy as could be playing with his YaYa and Grandaddy. Cameron meeting Max was a sweet sight, even though he wasn't too fond at first. He has slowly started to come around, and will even give Max a kiss now. I love looking at my two boys. My family is complete, and I feel so blessed to have Cameron and Max in my life. Just me and my three boys!
So what's coming up? Well at the end of October we will be heading back up to Boston to give Cam the rest of his fingers. October 30th Cam will go back for surgery again in what will hopefully be an uneventful but successful surgery to complete his finger separation. I would like to think that by now this would be routine. But it's not. It's surgery. It's traveling for surgery. It's keeping Cameron well so we don't have to cancel. It's travelling with two kids this time instead of just Cam. It's knowing that he will be in pain, and having my heart break when I have to hand him over to the surgeons. It's unfair. It's just unfair. But I know that God is in this. He is with us and will be with us even when I'm yelling at him because I'm scared and afraid. I know that God loves us, and as much as I'd like to blame God sometimes for the scary times in my life I've come to realize that those scary times have molded me. They have made me who I am now, and who I am grateful to be. Not that I was a bad person before, but the gift of Cameron is truly something that I am blessed to have and that I needed. What Paul and I both needed. I often think I could quite possibly be the most unlucky person in the world, because of the events that sometimes occur in my life. But then I am reminded that there is no way I can consider myself unlucky when I look around. Cameron and Max are two of the most amazing blessings. I just need to be reminded of that sometimes. This surgery does scare me. Surgery always scares me. I would do it for Cam a thousand times before having him go through this, but I can't. So I sit by his bed, I hold him, and I pray for him while he goes through it, and while he triumphs. But we do appreciate everyone prayers as we enter into this next month. Prayers for health, and positivity, and safety.
I promise I will try to do better on my updates. This two kid thing is going to take some getting used to but I'm sure things will be great and I will be able to make Cam's blog more of a priority for those of you that keep up with us this way. Thanks so much for reading and loving us. We are more appreciative than you will ever know.
Cameron turned two on August 15th. He celebrated with his friends and family at his very cool Elmo party. He even dressed up as Elmo. He was showered with lots of gifts and toys to last him until his next birthday. One of his very best friends, Stella, gave him an Elmo drum set, and because her mom is so creative they gave Cameron a fish. Dorthy in a tank to be exact, since Elmo has a fish, Cameron needed one too.....I couldn't have thanked Stella's mommy enough...(Ashley if you read this, that is sarcasm :) ). We still have Dorthy...somehow she is still alive and kicking...or swimming. Paul's parents even came in from Florida to be here to celebrate Cam's big day. It was alot of fun, and we felt very blessed to have so many people that love Cam come together to celebrate our sweet boy's big day.
Also in big news, we added the newest member of our family on August 23rd. That's right, Max Mclaurin Elliott came into the world weighing a whopping 7 lbs 12 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. He was a big boy for being 3 weeks early. I had a scheduled c-section because of me being diagnosed with pre-eclampisa around 32 weeks. I was able to manage it fairly well, but around 37 weeks it can start getting worse more quickly so they decided it would be safest to do the c-section at 37 weeks. So that morning as I prayed for God to protect us, I was wheeled into the operating room and about 20 minutes later Max was here. He was doing great at first. He was given agar's of 9 and 10, but when they took him to the nursery to weigh him and clean him up he started having some trouble breathing. They put him under an oxygen hood, but later realized that he had something called RDS. It stands for respiratory distress syndrome. Something not too uncommon for c-section babies and babies born a little early. So Max had to be transferred to a hospital we were all to familiar with in Winston Salem called Brenners. This is the place that Cam was born and where we spent most of his first year. Not a place we were to excited about returning too. But Max needed something more than what our small town hospital could provide, so off we went. Max did very well there and after 6 days he was ready to come home. We left the hospital on August 31st. Paul's birthday and the day after Max had turned 1 week. It was a very good day all around. I was so excited to get home to see Cam who had been with my in-laws for the past four days, the longest I had ever been without him, and It was a happy reunion...for me at least. He seemed happy as could be playing with his YaYa and Grandaddy. Cameron meeting Max was a sweet sight, even though he wasn't too fond at first. He has slowly started to come around, and will even give Max a kiss now. I love looking at my two boys. My family is complete, and I feel so blessed to have Cameron and Max in my life. Just me and my three boys!
So what's coming up? Well at the end of October we will be heading back up to Boston to give Cam the rest of his fingers. October 30th Cam will go back for surgery again in what will hopefully be an uneventful but successful surgery to complete his finger separation. I would like to think that by now this would be routine. But it's not. It's surgery. It's traveling for surgery. It's keeping Cameron well so we don't have to cancel. It's travelling with two kids this time instead of just Cam. It's knowing that he will be in pain, and having my heart break when I have to hand him over to the surgeons. It's unfair. It's just unfair. But I know that God is in this. He is with us and will be with us even when I'm yelling at him because I'm scared and afraid. I know that God loves us, and as much as I'd like to blame God sometimes for the scary times in my life I've come to realize that those scary times have molded me. They have made me who I am now, and who I am grateful to be. Not that I was a bad person before, but the gift of Cameron is truly something that I am blessed to have and that I needed. What Paul and I both needed. I often think I could quite possibly be the most unlucky person in the world, because of the events that sometimes occur in my life. But then I am reminded that there is no way I can consider myself unlucky when I look around. Cameron and Max are two of the most amazing blessings. I just need to be reminded of that sometimes. This surgery does scare me. Surgery always scares me. I would do it for Cam a thousand times before having him go through this, but I can't. So I sit by his bed, I hold him, and I pray for him while he goes through it, and while he triumphs. But we do appreciate everyone prayers as we enter into this next month. Prayers for health, and positivity, and safety.
I promise I will try to do better on my updates. This two kid thing is going to take some getting used to but I'm sure things will be great and I will be able to make Cam's blog more of a priority for those of you that keep up with us this way. Thanks so much for reading and loving us. We are more appreciative than you will ever know.
Friday, June 8, 2012
We have 3 fingers and a thumb!
So May 14th, Cam became the new recipient of separated fingers. After a long 5.5 hours in the operating room, a mishap with the type of intubation they used, 14 hours in the ICU because he needed to remain intubated, and two hard, bright blue, Elmo casts later, we had one cranky Cam, but underneath those casts there were fingers. The surgeon said everything on the surgery end went wonderful. His finger separation went smooth, and they were able to give him a great outcome. Overall we spent 4 days in the hospital for this surgery, and then flew back home. I won't say that Cam was his sweet, silly self once we were home, but he quickly progressed back to his norm, and life with two large, hard, casts became easy.
Of course things don't always stay smooth sailing, because then that just wouldn't be our life......so the week before Cam was to head back to Boston for the cast removal he became ill. We thought he may have had a shunt malfunction, so we traveled to Winston to find out that it was just a stomach virus, and that it would resolve on its own. Over the next few days, his stomach virus seemed to disappear but he still had a poor appetite and didn't really want to eat, and for me that is the worst thing. I already feel that Cam is small, and even though he is healthy, when he eats it makes me feel better, but when he gets in those modes where he refuses food, or throws it up, I get anxious. So Friday I scheduled a swallow study for him, to make sure that he didn't have any issues with his esophagus. He fought tooth and nail through the study, and so how accurate it was is still up in the air, but what they did see was completley fine, and as of now his esophagus is still functioning fine. I worry about all of that because of his esophageal atresia repair he had when he was just a newborn, because unfortunately one of the things that can happen is that a stricture develops in the esophagus and it needs to be dilated. Not a huge deal, but still something I wasn't wanting to deal with, especially right before his scheduled cast removal. So luckily for now, no problems with the esophagus. Just one picky little boy. And to top all of this off, Saturday morning he woke up with a very runny nose, and a cough.
So Sunday finally gets here, and Cam and I prepare for this plane flight alone. He still has a yucky upper respiratory virus, but isn't too cranky.This was the first time I had flown alone with Cameron, and something in my mind told me that it would be just fine. I had this expectation that everything would go smooth, and that I would conquer this trip with no issues......BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!! We made it to the airport Sunday, Paul said his goodbyes, then Cam and I headed to check in. We made it through a very crowded security and to our gate just in time to board the plane. I decided that two carry on's would be easy to handle on my own, but that plus pushing Cam's stroller, plus having to hold him and fold the stroller at the base of the plane, started this flight off in an already frustrating mode. We got on the plane and sat in our window seat, squished between a large gentleman that sat in the middle and an older lady on the aisle seat that continuously asked me if Cam had whooping cough when he would cough. She was worried because she said her immune system was very weak, and his cough sounded very much like whooping cough to her. I assured her that he just had a cold and that there would be no way I would bring my toddler on a plane with whooping cough(some people really make me want to be violent, and I am not a violent person).
After sitting for about 10 minutes the plane begins to depart. We move about 20 feet and then the plane proceeds to pull back into the concourse. The pilot then comes over the speakers to say that there was a ton of air traffic over Washington DC and that we wouldn't be able to take off for an estimated 1 hr. 40 minutes. At this point Cam is already frustrated, we are super cramped, I have no room, my giant 7 month pregnant belly makes it difficult to maneuver, and I'm sweating something horrible. I almost started crying then, but held it together. I knew that I couldn't loose it yet. So luckily the plane only sat for an hour before deciding to leave again, and once we were in the air, Cam thankfully fell asleep. It was a very loud sleep, because his congestion didn't make an already tight upper airway and better, and so he did some serious snoring, but at least he wasn't crying!! He woke up about 30 minutes before we were landing in a horrible mood. He was hungry, so I somehow pulled a bottle together for him. He drank it down, and in about 10 minutes threw it all back up.....all. over. me. I was mortified. I had no way to help him, to help myself, to clean anything.....it was horrible. It was over with that....I let the tears fall. The man next to me asked if he could do anything, but he couldn't, and I was so frustrated that I wouldn't have accepted it anyway. Luckily we only had about 15 minutes left in the plane, so once we landed and got off, I put Cam in the stroller, ran to the restroom, semi cleaned myself up, and headed toward the gate to be picked up by some friends that we were staying with in Boston.
The rest of the trip was fine. Monday morning Cam got his casts off, we got fitted for his splints, and headed back to our friends to stay the night before our departure from Boston the next morning. Cam's new fingers looked really great, and I was excited that this first step to 10 fingers was finally over!!!!!! We had a wonderful flight home on Tuesday. The seat next to us on the plane stayed open, so we had alot more room, and Cam was much happier during this trip. It was not 100% comfortable for me, because being pregnant on a plane isn't the most fun ever, but with Cam being happy and no throw up, I will say it was 10,000 times better than the plane ride there.
We have been home three days, and Cam uses his fingers marvelously well. Almost like he's had three seperate fingers forever. We did take him to the peds this week, and he does have a sinus infection, but he seems to be handling it well, and hopefully his congestion will clear up here soon. They called from Boston this week to let us know that his next seperation surgery will be October 30th. So we will have an even older toddler and a newborn on the next trip......Are we crazy or what? :) Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes during Cam's surgery. We truley appreciate everyone that loves our sweet little boy, and are grateful for the support we recieve during these hectic times.
Of course things don't always stay smooth sailing, because then that just wouldn't be our life......so the week before Cam was to head back to Boston for the cast removal he became ill. We thought he may have had a shunt malfunction, so we traveled to Winston to find out that it was just a stomach virus, and that it would resolve on its own. Over the next few days, his stomach virus seemed to disappear but he still had a poor appetite and didn't really want to eat, and for me that is the worst thing. I already feel that Cam is small, and even though he is healthy, when he eats it makes me feel better, but when he gets in those modes where he refuses food, or throws it up, I get anxious. So Friday I scheduled a swallow study for him, to make sure that he didn't have any issues with his esophagus. He fought tooth and nail through the study, and so how accurate it was is still up in the air, but what they did see was completley fine, and as of now his esophagus is still functioning fine. I worry about all of that because of his esophageal atresia repair he had when he was just a newborn, because unfortunately one of the things that can happen is that a stricture develops in the esophagus and it needs to be dilated. Not a huge deal, but still something I wasn't wanting to deal with, especially right before his scheduled cast removal. So luckily for now, no problems with the esophagus. Just one picky little boy. And to top all of this off, Saturday morning he woke up with a very runny nose, and a cough.
So Sunday finally gets here, and Cam and I prepare for this plane flight alone. He still has a yucky upper respiratory virus, but isn't too cranky.This was the first time I had flown alone with Cameron, and something in my mind told me that it would be just fine. I had this expectation that everything would go smooth, and that I would conquer this trip with no issues......BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!! We made it to the airport Sunday, Paul said his goodbyes, then Cam and I headed to check in. We made it through a very crowded security and to our gate just in time to board the plane. I decided that two carry on's would be easy to handle on my own, but that plus pushing Cam's stroller, plus having to hold him and fold the stroller at the base of the plane, started this flight off in an already frustrating mode. We got on the plane and sat in our window seat, squished between a large gentleman that sat in the middle and an older lady on the aisle seat that continuously asked me if Cam had whooping cough when he would cough. She was worried because she said her immune system was very weak, and his cough sounded very much like whooping cough to her. I assured her that he just had a cold and that there would be no way I would bring my toddler on a plane with whooping cough(some people really make me want to be violent, and I am not a violent person).
After sitting for about 10 minutes the plane begins to depart. We move about 20 feet and then the plane proceeds to pull back into the concourse. The pilot then comes over the speakers to say that there was a ton of air traffic over Washington DC and that we wouldn't be able to take off for an estimated 1 hr. 40 minutes. At this point Cam is already frustrated, we are super cramped, I have no room, my giant 7 month pregnant belly makes it difficult to maneuver, and I'm sweating something horrible. I almost started crying then, but held it together. I knew that I couldn't loose it yet. So luckily the plane only sat for an hour before deciding to leave again, and once we were in the air, Cam thankfully fell asleep. It was a very loud sleep, because his congestion didn't make an already tight upper airway and better, and so he did some serious snoring, but at least he wasn't crying!! He woke up about 30 minutes before we were landing in a horrible mood. He was hungry, so I somehow pulled a bottle together for him. He drank it down, and in about 10 minutes threw it all back up.....all. over. me. I was mortified. I had no way to help him, to help myself, to clean anything.....it was horrible. It was over with that....I let the tears fall. The man next to me asked if he could do anything, but he couldn't, and I was so frustrated that I wouldn't have accepted it anyway. Luckily we only had about 15 minutes left in the plane, so once we landed and got off, I put Cam in the stroller, ran to the restroom, semi cleaned myself up, and headed toward the gate to be picked up by some friends that we were staying with in Boston.
The rest of the trip was fine. Monday morning Cam got his casts off, we got fitted for his splints, and headed back to our friends to stay the night before our departure from Boston the next morning. Cam's new fingers looked really great, and I was excited that this first step to 10 fingers was finally over!!!!!! We had a wonderful flight home on Tuesday. The seat next to us on the plane stayed open, so we had alot more room, and Cam was much happier during this trip. It was not 100% comfortable for me, because being pregnant on a plane isn't the most fun ever, but with Cam being happy and no throw up, I will say it was 10,000 times better than the plane ride there.
We have been home three days, and Cam uses his fingers marvelously well. Almost like he's had three seperate fingers forever. We did take him to the peds this week, and he does have a sinus infection, but he seems to be handling it well, and hopefully his congestion will clear up here soon. They called from Boston this week to let us know that his next seperation surgery will be October 30th. So we will have an even older toddler and a newborn on the next trip......Are we crazy or what? :) Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes during Cam's surgery. We truley appreciate everyone that loves our sweet little boy, and are grateful for the support we recieve during these hectic times.
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