So since my last post....We have been through a major surgery, celebrated two holidays, I had a birthday, and We rang in the New Year...ALOT! Now that it's 2012 and we are supposed to make resolutions...one of mine was to keep up with my blog a little better. I mean I really do love this blog. It's kind of like my journal, only public, but non-the-less it's my outreach to vent my feelings and to keep everyone updated on the various happenings of sweet Cam.
So first off...THE BIG HEART SURGERY:
We arrived in Boston on Tuesday the night before all of his pre-op, we got checked into the place we were staying and played with cam until it was time for bed. Then we got up super super early to head to the hospital to start all of the pre-op stuff. It started off with blood work, some x-rays, then a sedated echo. For all of those things Cam was so good. He behaved like a champ, and was super sweet with all the nurses. Then after his echo, we were supposed to meet with his Surgeon and the Cardiologist for the first time. It was very intimidating meeting the Cardiac Surgeon...the person that was going to be stopping my child's heart to then repair it, to then start his heart back up again...it seemed unreal to me that there was an actual person that could do this. But sure enough he was there....Dr. Frank Pigula, one of Boston Children's most expertise surgeons. He was so kind. He talked to me very calmly and told me that he was going to take great care of my Cam. He told me that everything would be great...I was in tears during this entire conversation of course, but his tone and his assurance helped ease my mind. Then we waited around another few hours to finally meet the Cardiologist...another saint...Dr. Peter Lang. This man is so funny. He was cracking me up, while at the same time explaining to me what Cam's heart looked like and what will happen once he has the surgery. He was great. I felt so confident in this amazing team. Then after an all day long run of appointments we were finally able to leave with a return time to the hospital for 6 am the next morning.
Surgery Day....was really, really hard. I watched them sedate my precious child, and then I watched them wheel him away in his bed....It was so hard for me to let him go, they had to force me to place him on the bed, and even then it was more like them taking him out of my arms...I just couldn't let go. As we watched him go down the hallway, all I could think was that this could be the last time that I could see my baby alive. They are going to stop his heart and what if they can't start it back? NO mother should ever have to experience that feeling...but so many do. I met tons of moms just like me, waiting in the Cardiac waiting area for their child to come back alive. IT's not Fair. It's torture, and it's pain, and it's the most amazing thing all at the same time. Because it's you loving someone so much that when you even think about the thought of them not being there, you don't want to live yourself. That is beautiful to me.
Cam went into surgery at 7:30 am and Dr. Pigula was out talking to us by 1pm. We got to see him for the first time after surgery around 2. IT was horrible. He was laying there, intubated, white, knocked out! But he also looked really good for just having open heart surgery. He had two tubes coming out of his chest draining the blood from his chest cavity, and he had a catheter to drain his urine, and he had a ton of wires everywhere that were hooked to about 5 different monitors. Very overwhelming. The nurses and Dr's assured us that everything had gone great and expected him to make a great recovery. And that is just what he did. By day 6 post op, we were being discharged from the hospital!! Cam did wonderfully well, and his heart looked great! We had a follow up with the Cardiologist in Boston on Friday, and then headed home that night. It was the greatest feeling to be going home with our sweet boy knowing that this terrifying surgery was behind us.
We made it home the Sunday before Thanksgiving. So we got to spend Thanksgiving with family and then we decorated for Christmas! Christmas came and we celebrated at our home this year with all of our family, and it was wonderful. Cam's recovery was very fast, and now you can't even tell he had a major heart surgery unless you saw his scar that runs down the center of his chest. When we get ready for bath time he always rubs his hand up and down on the scar, and I make sure to tell him how brave he was to get that cool scar, and how proud I am of him! I'm sure he has no clue what I am talking about, but one of these days he will!!
Now that it's 2012, I look forward to a great year filled with love and laughter and being grateful for the amazing blessings that the Lord has given my family. Cameron is so wonderful and God, he knew what he was doing putting that little boy in my life. And although God and I have had our issues, and I've been really, really, angry with him, I know that at the end of the day, he doesn't love me any less! My iniquities are big, but God's mercy and grace are so much bigger, and this year I feel my heart and my soul yearning to grow closer to the one that loves me no matter what! I know that I will face more triumphs, but I pray that I can handle them just as I've handled the ones before. Love and Life....My new motto....oh and Happy 2012 everyone!!
