This past week Cam got to have yet another play date with his sweet friend baby Jenna. Her mom just happens to be my best friend, so they get to see each other quite a bit. But it's always sweet when they get to play together. Jenna is about two weeks older than Cameron. She was born at the end of July, and Cam who wasn't supposed to make his entrance until mid September was so excited to meet her that he just decided that two weeks was long enough! Jenna's mommy Elise has been a great support for me through this. When Cameron was in the hospital she and her husband and the kiddos came down to visit, and she has just been an ear that I can chirp in every time I'm feeling sorry for myself...and usually there's no judgment..hehehe!
For a little bit after I got the news about Cameron, I didn't really want to see Elise. She has another child, Jacob who turned two in December and then sweet Jenna who is Cam's age. Both are perfectly healthy, smart, beautiful kids. No NICU time, no surgeries, no physical differences. So it was hard for me. It was hard for me to want to be around her when I knew my baby was different. I didn't understand. Because everyone says God only gives special babies to special people...well Elise is a wonderful mother, and completely capable of taking care of a special needs child, why isn't this happening to her? Again with the WHY ME? So for awhile it really took alot out of me to see her with her happy family...and honestly not just her, I have another friend who had a baby the week before Cam, baby Addie, and honestly I hated her too. Her little girl is healthy and absolutely beautiful, and most importantly no hospitals or surgeries. There were alot of pregnant women I had trouble being around, it was my own issue, but it was just hard.
However, I did get over my selfishness and anger. I did remember that Cameron was going to be our baby, and that was what I needed to focus on. And of course once he was here I knew he was just as perfect as the other two babies. He just needed a little more attention to the details! So now that Cameron is older and interacting and not hospitalized, we have play dates. Mostly so I can have lunch with Elise, but also because before Cameron came along, Jacob was my favorite child, and I need a weekly dose of his sweet smile, and Jenna is pretty cute too. So we try to meet and have lunch, and this past week Elise came over to our house and we had lunch and played on the floor. Jenna has perfected sitting so she was a good example for Cam, and he loved trying to keep up! I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends, and Cameron sure does have some cute girlie's in his life to play with. I love you Elise, for being an awesome, beautiful friend. For listening to my crazy life, and for loving us back! I'm so glad God put you in my life, and for you accepting the challenge...:)
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